GOOD THINGS DON'T STAY TOGETHER, BUT OFTEN STAY APART!

Moments that we've shared, cannot be jotted down on paper,
But nevertheless it was chemistry, not vapor,
You walked into my life, and made the deepest mark,
This ignited my fire, which gave birth to a spark,
When you are here, I have the world with me,
It is heaven; I wish it could be eternity,
We walked side by side,
Hand in hand, under the moonlight,
The touch of your hand, your presence worthwhile,
The warmth that you give me makes me feel so secure,
I will be with you in pain; I will be with you in cure!

As the sun rose, and a new day just began,
You leave my hand and told me it's all done,
I know you have to go, but you'll stay by my side,
That look in your eyes, just seems to tell me more,
Though, the parting is a pain, our love seems to grow,
You tell me not to cry, but, keep a positive heart,
"Because all good things don't stay together, but often stay apart."
The day is finally here, when you leave me all alone,
Like an orphan misses a mother, and a homeless misses a home,
The depth in your eyes, your touch and your feel,
Is what I'll miss, I'll miss you for real,
That passion and that care, you've showered on me,
Are all those special moments, and that's what they are going to be.

If I had to give you something, that would remind you of me,
I'd give you a house full of memories,
Because memories are things that go deeper into time,
We can look back at them and revive all that, lasting for years to go,
We'll build it together and cherish it forever,
All that we shared, we'd capture under lock and key,
And make a life in that house, which is ideal for you and me.

Its time for us to part, you'll be at the other end of the world,
Both of us with a totally shattered heart,
My heart bleeds to see you depart,
I will wait for you with bated breath,
I will lead my life, but I will also fret,
Cause without you I am incomplete, the emptiness is there,
Only when you are with me again, will that hollowness disappear,
As the sun goes down, with autumn all around,
Till the waters are blue, I will wait for you,
I wish you luck for the times we're apart,
I will miss you, don't worry I will convince my heart.

Love lives on hope, and dies when hope is dead;

It is a flame which sinks for lack of fuel.

Pierre Corneille

*** i dont blame you if you feel hopeless at some point...human nature,were all bound to feel that way sometime now or in the near future...keep in mind, things happen for a reason, its not your fault if you gave it all...change is good...good...wink**

-it my sound so cliche, but it his lost not yours..eventually he'll realize that, and when that time comes, itll be to late for him...save a little love for yourself girlfriend...even just a little dash...wink**

mwahness=)

To The Person Who Have Hurted Me...So Long!

So,it's done...kung kailan i'm letting go finally...saka ka naman masama ang trato sakin...Now for the NTH time...you are saying you have finally found the right girl...and your friends are also saying...pabayaan ka na lang... so go on!Your papa also says that i shouldn't get into my tired mind all that you are telling me and all the kind of treatment you are giving me...Fine!Then somebody came...not that really new to me...but that person cares for me and showed me how important i am than you do...that preson made me realize that we're not in the same level...that i must save all my tears and all my love and all that i have to endure for somebody who truly deserves it...and i realize that...that person was right all along...now i don't need to cry for you...i don't need to miss you alright...i don't have to weep every night and wait for you in vain when the fact is i know where you are...i'm only hurting myself...that person was right...and even if i'm afraid to fall and even if i don't wanna fall for somebody else because my whole world revolved around you...now things are getting better and my mind's changing...i really am gonna change...this might hurt me a whole lot more but at least there are persons who'll be there to catch me and support me if i went down the drain...and if i came to my breaking point and i failed...somehow they'll still be there to support and love me...I have been so blind for so long i never realized this...Again, for the last time...i'll tell you...I have loved you with all of my heart and gave you all that i have and endured all that i can...i failed though...now...i'm starting to close the book i have been reading and rereading for so many times...the book of our love story...it never did end to be happily ever after but it did made me stronger for our children...You will still be that one personwho has fathered my offsprings...and you will still be that one person who taught me how to love unconditionally and yet gave me only pain and nothing else...you will still be that one person who changed my life...into worser part, though...but that was all you'll ever be...Good luck again on your newfound...i mean current girlfriend...sana nga talagang kayo na... because i won't accept to be a spare and "panakip-butas" anymore...Thanks for all that you did to me and for all that has been....I may simply be the plain old naive peach only as you say so...but i will still the same old peach who's started waking up...

-Peaches,Blank Mood

Living Room,PC Table

10/28/04

10:12pm - 10:35pm

My head Hurts So mUch Because I Needed to Cry but Nothing Seems to Happen...My Eyes Are Malfunctioning!

My head hurts so much right now and the pain's sinkin' in...I must give myself a break for my much needed cry but it just don't come out naturally...my heart felt bursting and anguish registered my face,so much transparent that i don't need to tell anyone i'm so much sad i could fill one hell of a stadium if i cried...He doesn't seem to be absorbing what i'm telling him...it pains me so much knowing that i've been living with somebody who doesn't love me or perhaps never loved me or so i say...it kills me knowing i had to weep each and every damning night waiting for him to be safely home here with me and then as i lay beside him...i wonder, would i ever wake up one day without seeing the same person i have shared room&bed to for five years...Hey, i DO KNOW that you don't love me anymore but to betray me and lay your lecherous doings in front of me...please,for Christ sake spare me...i had enough pain and i DO KNOW that i can't do anything anymore for you to LOVE me...i don't need to be reminded what's so much obvious..i've been thru a lot of sufferings without somebody to back me up...unlike you,i've been thru a lot of pains and sacrifices without anyone to pick me up unlike you...why do you have so much hate on me with so much bad wishes for me there in your cold,cold heart?we both know i don't deserve it...i have loved you with all of my hear...i have given you all that i have...i may be naive on other things that you taught me like loving you and such--and because of that you felt frustrated...which means you've been a worst teacher as well because i failed...Why?Don't i deserve to be frustrated on how you treated me?I bet i really am the only one whom you bared all your mask and showed me how worst could you got...i am the only person whom you treated lower than the lowest form of living organism...you loathed me..i get frustrated that i didn't get to change or to upgrade you in a more human person...that i didn't get to let you look at the mirror and realize what kind of person you are then change into a person...with heart!I get so much hurt that i gave up all -- my family,friends,good life & everything that i am to change and to fit in your own bubble...to like what i used to dislike and forcedly adapt on the most complex lifestyle way from the simple living i used to live...Hey,if you could really love somebody else then you must now have a heart then why do you still have to treat me this way?I'm so tired but i have hope deep inside my heart...i have loved you and will still love you even if you forget...you are the only one i love...you are the father of my children..how could i forget?so please...i know that both of us were feeling so much difficulty on living together and sleeping,making love without love i guess, and sharing room,bed,towels,everything...It hurts me so much,too...my heart's been bleeding always and my eyes were crying uncontrollably every night...But please don't make it so much harder to me since i am the loser here...i'm losing you and i'm losing the life you gave me...my children are losing their dad...what more?i know this might have to be left unread...but at least the burden in my heavy heart grew lesser as the tears poured with this rambling...at least,you may have wanted to forget me and though you would...at least i have loved you and never pretended too...at least even if you she me just as low as you think i am...i have a heart that's true...

- Peaches, Sullen and Pained Mood...

Started,10;24pm...Finished,11:03pm

10/22/04,Friday Alone 2 Gorznet Internet cafe

Sadness Sinkin' In...

It's always like this...makes me sad and bring tears in my eyes...I don't feel loved, i don't feel appreciated...i've never felt so alone than now. I feel like i'm not taken cared of. he always, always leave me alone...i guess he don't wanna be with me -- he loves his friends instead. he takes good care of 'em and always make 'em comfortable...But me, he never bothered to think of me that much...he left me bored and so much out of place...That hurts me so much but he doesn't seem to care at all...I hide whenever i cried all those painful times and act as if everything's fine and everything doesn't matter at all. I denied whenever he asked me what is really wrong because it doesn't matter at all...i guess, Well because when i started to tell him what it's all about he also started to ignore what i'm telling me and then started to leave...i'm getting sadder and sadder by the moment without him knowing it and without him taking any effort or concern on what i really feel...I wanna get out of this place...I wanna get out of this damn life!It gets way too much under my skin...i'm gettin' giddier each minute...what's more, he even leave me without telling me where he'll go making me wait till God knows how long, and when i get to askin' him, he raised his voice at me...i won't even go with him or stalk him or insist of him to be home early...why the fuck is he all bothered at?I don't ever want this maddening feeling that he's putting me into...

- Peaches,Defeated Mood

08, March 2004 7:45 - 8:07pm, Our Bedroom

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

You are My Other half That's Why I Love You!

(¨`v´¨)
`·.¸.·'
*``*
.....
.....
\,,.~.

.~*\..............~**~...~**\../'*~.~**~-,
.\.....\¸,.~*\/....../\....\....V..../...(_)...\
...\............\......\/..../\......../\.....¸,.~*
....\¸,.~*´¨..`.-.,¸,.-`...\,¸,./....\..¸¸,`.\

..~**\.. /**/.~**~. .~*\..../*~.
...\.....\/.../...../\.....\.....\../.../
....\......../ .....\/...../\.....V.../
...../__./...`..,¸¸,.-`..'-......-'...(+).

* -:¦:-*

- this i tell you truly, you are my other half, without you i'm the dance without the song,without you i'll be the heart without a soul...and without you, i'm the words without teh book.You mean so very much to me, there aren't enough words in the world to explain to you how much i care about you and how much i need you in my life...much as i needed my kids.It's like living with you has the same wavelenght as breathing...i did it everyday and every millisecond of my life...it just comes out naturally... You are not just my bestfriend, not just like a brother, not just my true listener and not just my "other half"...You are my everything!I need you in my life because i love you!
- I may be too innocent and naive to know what love is when we first crossed our path, i may not have shown you the real love in the way that you know it and wanted me to, I may not love you the way i should be... but i'm always willing to love you the way i understand how love is not just the way you taught me to...and everytime you hurt me, only those words up above entered my mind...still, and everytime you hurt me more...more of those words came rushing through my heart...there's more i wanted to tell you...though i know it'd never reach you afterall...i just can't figure out why you'd always be too good to me just when i'm leaving you, just when i'm starting to pick up my life from where i left it when i met you...jjust when you're about to be passe...i'd just start again to miss you and i hated it...Then you'll start to be too caring again and i started to believe you again just when i began seeing the difference of your truth to mine...and you'd be darn too sweet again...and as before i'll fall again...my heart began to get rejuvenated and it would be very painful for me to love you when i started reciprocating the feeling and you won't love me anyhow, afterall...It's so crazy and i'm so paranoid because i've gotten my heart broken by you over and over again it all filled my heart with undeniable scars and bruises that hurts and pulsed from time to time i don't even know just how much my heart could take...sometimes just when i thought things between us may be getting better, a lot more workable, a little more simpler and tranquil, you just have to turn around and do this...break my heart again in another place with another person i dunno...sooner or later maybe..i'll have no heart left for me to love you still because it's been broken so many times into a lot of smashed pieces it might be so damn hard to piece it back and then we'll fall apart and that's something i don't wanna know about...You know, it's so pretty weird like whenever there are these sleepless nights and i get to thinkin' how if one detail had been different...then i may not have you right now...and then i may not have found out what my children looked like and then i may not found out how it is to love and live...and that the thought of it just scared the hell out of me...it's like almost drowning...it's like a near-death experience!

- Peaches,Monthsary and Unappreciated...

3:37am - 4:26am, friday w/ baby djeanne
"><$You are My Other Half That's Why I Love You!$>
http://www.arierrepensee.blogspot.com

This is How We're Connected..(That's Why We Often Clashed!)

PEACHES(LEO) + BHOBET(SCORPIO)
Sun Signs Compatibility Leo + Scorpio

Just remember that when you're involved with a Leo, you're involved with a superstar, a leader, an achiever and a chief-of-staff. When you're involved with a Scorpio, you're involved with a detective, a therapist, a hypnotist and a transformer. If you can give a Leo sincere admiration and applause then you have a better chance of getting their love and affection. If you can give a Scorpio loyalty, control and deep understanding you have a better chance of getting their love and affection. For each of you, the force of habit is strong. More than likely, you're both determined, purposeful and persistent. This relationship is a test of wills. Neither one of you is easily pushed, pulled or pressured. Once you commit to each other, this relationship can become steady, stable and a powerhouse. Stand firm on the conviction that you are working to overcome inertia together. At heart, Leo is practically perfect. The ancients have said that Leo is entitled to the Lion's share of fun. Leo needs to roar with pride, both on center stage and in the bedroom. By developing willpower, Leo can find creative ways to get into the spotlight and shine. Leo is playing the game of life stakes higher than Scorpio may realize. To win points, Scorpio can treat Leo to a most excellent piece of gold jewelry. Leo also appreciates Scorpio's undivided attention. Scorpio' is a strong individual, an extremely good friend, a formidable enemy, and prone to intense likes and dislikes. Scorpio lives in the world of black and white. Scorpio has little time for superficial people, places or things. We could write a whole book about the looks that Scorpio gives. We'd have a chapter on staring and a chapter on x-ray vision. No doubt people say things about Scorpio's eyes: "If looks could kill," "I feel like you're mentally undressing me," etc. Scorpio prefers deep commitment, deep conversation and deep thoughts. If Scorpio can't tell it like it is, Scorpio prefers to keep quiet. It should be mentioned that Scorpio has quite a few secrets. Scorpio has forgiveness issues that tend to make personal relationships challenging. People whisper about Scorpio's sex life. They dare to include Scorpio in their most passionate fantasies. Scorpio has proven the ability to hold on. Scorpios staying power is second to none. Now Scorpio needs to learn to let go. Every day Scorpio needs to find something to sell, give away, throw out or burn. If Scorpio wants to get the most out of life, Scorpio needs to let go of old crap, literally, figuratively, and most of all, psychologically.

Thoughts...

...SOMETIMES,
IT ALSO HURTS A LOT TO KEEP HOPING,
THERE ALWAYS COME A TIME WHEN YOU
FELT LIKE GIVING UP, YET YOU CAN'T.
SO YOU CHOOSES TO MOVE ON --
AND PUSH THROUGH IT ALL.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE HURT
WHEN SOMETIMES YOU FELT LIKE...
NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE ON YOUR EFFORT,
YET YOU STOPPED TO THINK THAT YOU'VE
WORKED TOO DAMN HARD TO WANT TO
GIVE UP; AND THAT YOU KEPT ON THINKIN'
THAT...AT THE END OF THE STORM IS A
RAINBOW, AND AT THE END OF THE
RAINBOW IS A POT OF GOLD; THAT...
EVERYTHING YOU DID IS WORTH IT.
THAT IT IS GOOD. AND THAT ALL OF
YOUR STRUGGLE WILL BE WORTH
THE FIGHT AND THAT YOU'LL SOON WIN
AND MOST ESPECIALLY, YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU'RE JUST DOING IT FOR LOVE...
...AND IT'S GREAT!
FOR IT COULD KEEP YOU ALIVE,
AND STILL HOPING.
WAITING FOR YOUR STAR TO COME!

--PEACHES/Glum Mood
Started:
08/08/99 - 9:25pm - Sunday
Finished:
08/08/99 - 10:45pm - Sunday
Yah's Place - Sirangan, Sorsogon City

Uncertain...

It's 9:00pm and time is running out,

Soon, I'll be leaving again,

We've spent a little time,yet.

I'm afraid to go...I might not see you...

nor have you, anymore.

It just happens that i'm here these past few days.

To be with friends, to fix some things,too...

And try to spend some quality time with someone I love.

It's not that easy though, to move.

'Hope there oughtta be no truce at all,

from any or from you and me.

I mean no harm nor hurt to thee.

To anyone, to you or to somebody.

Thus, that really..my goal will be.

I don't wanna hurt somebody

nor spoil my stay with this uncertainty.

I'm running out of time myself.

I just wanna borrow you while i'm still here.

To be with me for a while, then i'll stir clear.

Now all i care is to be with you

But it really seems so hard to do.

Even if I seldom show you I love you,

believe in me and please trust me so!

Sure of myself, I could live alone...until the time;

But whenever I'm with you, my time runs out.

It's so hard to make the most of it

I can't get enough of all the talk we had.

Now, who knows what will happen next?

To me, to you, to us or to somebody else,

But you...I learned, that somebody

needs you more than I do.

You just have to ponder and not sigh, though.

Before my time ran out...

I won't even let you know--

That I've only gotta few months left,

complete for a year or two.

My entire wish is just to spend it with you.

To let you go...I wish I could,

And let alone by myself I would.

But, it's hard to bear to be apart from you.

Even the dying like me won't do.

I love you and I know you knew.

How much it hurts me, on what you always do.

But do you feel the pain in me?

I do understand, for you it seems so hard to see.

But if I go few days from now,

and promised to be back soon...

Will you watch me as I disappear?

And watch my heart slowly tear?

Will you forget me when I'm gone?

Who knows it'll be now or soon?

Will you be lonely as I am?

Or will you rejoice when I'm already gone?

Then,go...be hurry to the lucky one?

Uncertain as it goes,it seem

the you, then I...the US we've been.

But I will keep you in my heart.

To faraway, I'll bring when we fall apart.

If then, by light and day be gone --

And you and I were apart by time...

I'll say these parting words to you:

'I love you always,I'll remain...

'Uncertain as it seems, we've been!

- Peaches/Defeated Mood

Started:

02/26/01-- 9:30-10:50pm/stopped

Monday(your house-solitary)

Finished:

02/27/01-- 5:09-5:45pm/resumed

Tuesday (your room-with my baby)

Somethin' In My Head...

I don't get it and I can't even figure out why you've been treating me the most obnoxious and cheapest most hurting and degrading way you could?I wanna stay with you and i don't wanna lose you because you're my true love, you're the father of my children and i wanna grow old with you...But you're the CAN'T-MAKE-UP-MY-MIND-ABOUT-WHICH-ONE-I-REALLY-WANT-TO-TAKE-WITH-ME-SO-I'M-TAKING-BOTH-OF-YOU-INSTEAD-KIND OF GUY!well that was what i see..i wonder what's on other's mind about you.. getting HIGH filling up your head with metamphetamines?? tell me why it's so important for you to be with your damn sucker and user friends instead of going straight back home and be with your kids at least...even if not for me, or so you say.. why do I give a damn bout these things and not exactly ABOUT ME!!!I wish i have the power to read minds.. so i would know how scatterbrained are you thinking of another darning reasons and alibis to tell me though you know you can't fool me right now.. or perhaps that of your damn disciples to get everything done for you,instead?.. sigh.So it isn't convenient for you any more?What about how things are from my perspective??Damn, everybody's right...if only i knew how stupid i am to let you go this way or that way or just freak out and drool on another one without even stopping you!You know that song that goes, "If love is blind...'cause i can't see myself not in love with you!" For now, why don't you do your thing as I do mine..Let's pretend some things NEVER HAPPENED..Let's pretend some tears never got shed...Let's pretend some more...that's all we can do...oh,well at least that's all i can do..since everything between us was hopeless as it is...anyway i've been pretending all my breathing seconds with you that i think i'm almost believing it myself.I thought i've learned that from you,right?You've been doing that your whole life you're so good at it already.Think you're the smartest,the cassanova,the one guy that girls are after, the one person i can't live without for the rest of my life...that i can't beat you nor suppress you, that i would always do everything and give you anything that you want...that i could be your pedestal to lean on for the rest of your life while you go hunting for other glorifying bitches to adore your thingy?!I cant exactly decide if they're lucky to have you or if they're as unfortunate as i am...With all the things that you do... not just to me but to yourself and to others...This is so damnably exhausting...you are so much draining...Ranting about you anywhere or anyhow... hoping that the message would get through (though i know it never will...).It's kinda pestering and frustrating on my part...i didn't or i wasn't able to at least help you fix your life or at least upgrade you to a better person...darn!you affected me instead and drained me instead...and singlehandedly flushed me out of my own sytem instead...and wasted my whole damn life instead...and still happy for it?I dunno whether i'm a martyrfreak or a stupid doormat or a hand-me down absorber or something or just plain naive and masochistic about things...i only knew what's in my heart and so i followed everything it says to me thus splurging me out of the weirdest life one could ever imagine...oh,what the heck...i still have these beautiful kids to hold my sanity together...for me to remain lucid in your wacky world of make-believe...i dunno...i love 'em as much as i love you or i have loved you before..