EMPTY...

i feel sad and empty and used and worthless...i mean how and up what extent am i supposed to be understanding?how should one be patient and considerate enough?how could one hold back and hide the pain if it's already getting worst and one had no choice but to endure it?i feel unloved, used up to the end of the very last straw of my civility and being educated...For chrissake i think i'm definitely gonna learn to drink now...i need someone to talk to and be my temporary buffer zone to get rid of this bad vibes that's been shaking me all out of my sanity and my being rational enough to find valid reasons on what's happening....but instead, i found no one...i've been caring, loving,nurturing and understanding to people around me, yet how about me?who would wanna take care of me, show me concern and love and understanding?nobody seems to care at all...nobody seems to understand...

sometimes i get to think about the saying, what you sow is what you reap?love others like how He had taught us to do so...forgive 77 x 7 on each person...yeah right...but why does it still hurt when nobody seem to notice that i'm doing it wholeheartedly...it feels so heavy and empty and stressing and kinda crazyish....

i know i shouldn't be blabbing and ranting and saying all this in here but whom will i tell this, no one seem to want me, not even the person concerned seem to notice how difficult and painful for these things are?well, whatever...i think i gotta go and zip this now....