Impromptued Scattergorried Seditions: October 2005

My Reaction About Yesterday and the Night Before...(Plus some weeks before...)

I get so damn freakish right now i just don't want any scene but really i am so fuckin' pissed off...Why do i have to be so stickin' passive with this godamn jerk doin' some what-the-fuck he's always been doin' right under my nose and get so freakin' mad about it yet can't fuckin' do anything to it!I HATE HIM SO DARN MUCH, I HATE HIM! DAMN RIGHT IT'S TRUE!Sometimes i don't feel like i love him anymore and sometimes i just freakin' loathe that bastard so much!It gets way too under my skin and i don't pretty much want this maddening feeling inside me...It makes me think a load of damn evil things on my head and it stretched my brain so much i'm always on the verge of being so overly stressed out, exasperated and so very much going down into the drain... AMPH!WTF!Everything sucks so much i don't ever like it...How would you react when you arrived dead-tired from work and overtime at around 12am and found your daughter suick, her father on a damn drinkin' spree or so he say(?) and then you have to take care of your child, do some encoding, make their assignments and sleep at almost 3am only to be awaken of your drunk so-called-husband at 5am...How would you friggin' react when instead of tending to his daughter who's into pits of vomiting, was overly sweaty, can hardly breathe and on the verge of passing out and was just left on the floor by her no-good, worthless father who instead of rubbing his daughter's back was so into texting his latest 'fuckie'. Who when you asked for him to go and find a decent nebulizer to whisk away his daughter's asthma and save us from much burden while you carried his 3 yrs old daughter up and down the hall while you are 6 months pregnant has gone out to run a fuckin' errand for his gurl or just went there to unload his itchies...Damn, i hate that man...i could use up a little smashing of his mobile phone for that!I'm on my way to activate my killer instinct when i handed him the money to buy nebules and waited for God-knows-how-long for him to be back...hey, if i were you won't you be too? Shucks, i'm getting way too ogrish and dangerous by the minute...I'm so angered i feel so much hatred inside me...im annoyed, i'm pissed off!Damn!I don't care whom he screwed the brains out for a few months now 'cause i'm so glad t'wasn't me anymore..(boy,talkin' 'bout gettin' the risk of catching infection again-NO,thank's!),i don't care either as to whether he doesn't take care of my kids nor bothered wonderin' how i managed to work at the office and go home at around 10pm - 12am alone, commuting, and i'm so very much pregnant, i don't care either that he's 100% useless here in the house and was opting payment for his family members who would wanna hitch on his van while he do a free service for his stupid and worthless friends and hoes, i don't care either whether he went home or not every night as he doesn't wanna be messed or nagged or be bitched at that's why he ain't heard nothin' to me at all(not even a word of complain)!But for chrissake, when it comes to his kids, where on earth was his brains (who usually get lodged on his lovegun) as not to think of his babies first before his itch or his friends or his gimmicks or his fun...Damn, these kids are his blood for crying out loud!!!He'd exchange it for something else?FUCK!And then, he's got the nerve to tell everyone that he's gonna marry me just so because i got a job now which means i could do a living and provide for him?Damn him!he even had the guts to tell everyone that we're separated because we are exactly opposites and we didn't get along quite well?Screw him!I've had my fair or should i say my lion's share of hell putting up with him these past 6 years if i don't love him...not just because he's the father of these kids...That's what blows my temper off always...and i ended up nagging at him thru texts...he can anything he wanted, whatever he wanted but when it comes to our kids...

I'll surely raise hell on him and i will soon definitely raise hell on that bitch on their place or gladly on their school, if they're so STONECOLD NUMB enough not to think of it!And about that girl, how could she live and sleep knowing that she's into competence with his kids,for chrissake?!?Tell you what, i do love that self-centered, pretentious, brat YES...(because i'ma gonna be a hypocrite if i didn't say so!)but that doesn't mean i'ma marry him anymore,NO WAY JOSE!I do know that he won't change anymore even if that's what his press releases was all about!Oh, enough of this crap! i've just unloaded my hatred and cleared my head for i'ma build a hundred site today...Thank's to this blog...this is my way of shouting...