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so love this set... it shouts who i am

Oxford Shoes by sisistyle featuring a polyester shirt

Deborah Sweeney polyester shirt
$79 - dearfieldbinder.com

American Eagle Outfitters slim fit jacket
$60 - ae.com

James Jeans jeans
£31 - theoutnet.com

Forever 21 flat oxford
$28 - canada.forever21.com

BEAUTIFUL PRINT | mirrors/wall decor | accessories | Jayson Home &...
$440 - jaysonhomeandgarden.com

It Feels Weird...

Having finally married to the man i am living with for the past eleven years is somewhat crazy... I don't actually know how to put it and then I don't actually know where it is coming from yet there's this really weird feeling of peacefulness emanating from within me that makes me feel kinda eerie on the whole shenanigan of the event.

However, I don't really get it because it seems quite the same for him, like there's this invisible safety net somewhere, like a fail safe cocoon that makes us feel warm and comfy, all safe and secured.

Well, how's that for laughs? Why? Because we've been together way before our friends got married and separated... We had 3 children first before they have theirs....85% of our 11 years are all about pain, fighting, hurt, sacrifice and nothing worth of what we call happy vibe. Whadd'ya know, we're the couple in the group that didn't drifted way apart not to get back to each other again... We fought the most! We hurt each other the most! We hated each other the most and I guess we can't stand each other the most.... so maybe, that's what brings us together, our 95% difference. Maybe we hate the most and fight the most because we are the ones who loved each other the most...

Perhaps that's what made him decide, it's time... (See, take it from me. Don't insist yourself on someone who doesn't want you, who knows when the right time comes... that same person who didn't want you would be the one insisting his life on you... hehe)

In layman's term: Huwag mamilit ng ayaw sa'yo kasi darating ang panahon yang ayaw na yan sayo ang mamimilit... hehe maghintay ka lang.

to shanna

my dear, there must be a glitch in my blogger account as i always end up posting on your wall instead of mine..so sorry! thank you.

SpongeBob Mood Badge

SpongeBob Mood Badge: "Put the SpongeBob Mood badge on your page."

sentimental mode...

It has never been a question of who has forgotten and who forgets... but sometimes, you know what's sad? Twas when you never had the chance to understand things clearly 'cause twasn't explained to you... There's a definite pain on being the only one who remembers...

Greyson Chance on Ellen Degeneres Show

Zip Line and Chili Ice Cream | flipnomad

Zip Line and Chili Ice Cream | flipnomad

Does God Exist?

Try you tonge on this AMERICAN ACCENT! =)

What's a Doohickey? Sometimes, Americans have little mental pauses, where something’s right on the tip of our tongue, but we can’t think of the exact word—or when we want to euphemise unseemly speech. Fortunately, there’s a way around this that doesn’t involve brain surgery or duct tape. We use substitution words that can mean anything and everything.

Here’s an ode to mental vacuity.

Substitution Words I was rooting willy-nilly through a buncha stuff, looking every whichway for the dinky little whatchamacallit to fix the goldong thingamajig, but good ol’ whatsizname had put it in the hooziwhatsit, as usual! Boy oh boy, what a load of hooey. Always the same old rigamarole with that cockamamie bozo. He’s such a pipsqueak! If I found it, ka-ching, I’d be rich, which would be just jim dandy! I'd be totally discombobulated. You-know-who had done you-know-what with the goofy little gadget again, so whaddyaknow ... there was something-or-other wrong with it. What a snafu! I had a heck of a time getting ahold of whatsername to come over and take care of it with her special little doohickey that she keeps there in the thingamabob. For the gazillionth time, the flightly little flibbertigibbit said alrighty, she wouldn't shilly shally, she’d schlep over with her widget fixer and whatnot to do a bodaciously whizbang job on the whole shebang. That's right, the whole kit 'n caboodle, no ifs, ands, or buts about it ... no malarkey. Okee dokey, but she was a skosh busy right then, yada, yada, yada. Yessirreebob, we usually have gadgets galore, but what with the this-and-that, and all the hooplah, it’s all topsy turvy today, ’cuz that humungous nincompoop is still in the whatsit acting like everything's just hunky dory. That's just a bunch gobbledeegook. Pure gibberish. He's such an old rapscallion. Jeeminy Christmas, the shenanigans of that old fogey. Yackety schmackety, blah, blah, blah! Shucks, I wanted to find it on my own, and not be penalized for it—I’m just so darned tired of gimme’s and gotcha’s by a lotta has-been nosybones out hobnobbing with hoity toity wannabes. The real nitty gritty is that, young and old, they’re just a buncha happy-go-lucky whippersnappers and cantankerous old fuddyduddies who don’t know diddly. I poked among the gewgaws, tchotchkes, gimcracks, and knickknacks, there in the doodad, but I found zilch, zero, zippo, nil, nada and null. So-and-so told me such-and-such about the deeleebob, but I just don’t know where that little gizmo is. Sheesh! It’s a big whoopdedoo when you can’t even remember where the gosh diddly darned whaddyacallit is!

such a song,some pensee that hit me...

I Can’t Make You Love Me
Nina

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize – don’t patronize me

Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

Ain’t no use in crying, baby.

NOT YET FULLY MOVED ON: (...just from a song i heard )

...You sang me Spanish lullaby (Bleedin' Love by Alejandro[BoyceAvenue]),
...the sweetest sadness in your eyes.Clever trick!

"I never wanna see you unhappy." I thought you want the same for me...
Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream...
I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you...
I should have known you'd bring me heartaches...
Almost lovers always do...

Images...
And when you left...
You told me you'd never ever forgot these images, no.

...I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind.
So you're gone and I'm haunted.
And I bet you are just fine...
Did I make it that easy for you to walk right in and out of my life?

REMINISCING...

It has never been a question of who has forgotten and who forgets...

but sometimes, you know what's sad? Twas when you never had the chance to understand things clearly 'cause twasn't explained to you...

There's a definite pain on being the only one who remembers everything...

(It's common for all of us to seek approval for our actions. At times, the esteem of others can be so important that it becomes our way to measure our measure as a person when the only fault we did was to love.)

christmas blues

i know i shouldn't be in this blank mood but i feel so empty... i missed my mom so much cuz this is my first christmas without her... i missed my closest friends whom i'm cut off for now...i missed that person who scolded me last year day before christmas just so... i missed few former officemates, damn right..i missed a lot!


and what's more? we went to that place again where i'd reconnect again with memories of traumas, heartaches, hatred and so much more...i felt sad for my lil gurl...for sure she won't sleep again tonight...


christmas this year was definitely not a happy one at all...

REMEMBERING THE PERSON IN YOU...

I often wanted to be alone
Dreaming and hoping in solitude zone
That was how I want it to be,
So that no one can see and hurt the real me.

But you came and intrude in my dream,
Smiling and grinning, filling me with stories
It leaves me thinking of what is you scheme...
Ever suspicious, of the motives you bring.

But then you left me no choice,
Too late I found, my mask I no longer hold
I found myself responding to all your jokes
Forgetting the caution, letting you get close.

Now I'm confused on what to do
I don't want to be hurt, though i already am
I have to get away from you
But what can I do?
When this soul is used to the warm trap that is you?

PERHAPS

Perhaps we shouldn't have met
And I wouldn't be loving you this much.
Perhaps I shouldn't have known you
And I wouldn't be attached to you.
Maybe you shouldn't have made me laugh
And I won't be longing for you every time of the day.
Maybe you shouldn't have given me your shoulder
And I wouldn't be missing you every time I'm alone.
Maybe you shouldn't have listened to me
And I wouldn't be used to having you beside me.
Maybe you shouldn't have looked at me with very loving eyes
And I wouldn't be dreaming of you liking me.
Maybe things are different, if I never knew you existed...

SO CALLED DISCLAIMER, BUT...(my backup copy)

sent to s******i_a*****4@yahoo.com
Engr.R******E***B*****

Greetings!

Much as I don't wanna intrude your privacy, I don't think I got any other choice right now. I was supposed to send you a disclaimer letter but was directed to send an apology letter instead. I don't wanna pester you or something, I am told to apologize to you in whatever information it is, that might have reached you. It was really embarrassing on my part and I'm really sorry that it could have inflicted negative effect on your reputation.

I have never expected nor anticipated that you'll be into this in any way imaginable 'cause we never talked about you,lest mention your name. We don't even know if you are even familiar with us or have any idea that we even exist in the government office where you've worked before.In view of this, I'd like to apologize on my part and in behalf of my friend since there must have been a miscommunication between me and my friend that somebody must have taken the opportunity using this instance to cause chaos.

It's really unusual that Jane and me thought 'twas only us who knew about the zitch that I let her borrow around P24,000.00 for the treatment and medication of her elder brother. We're not aware who or where the issue that has reached your knowledge started. Again, I regret the negligence of not being aware that you've been included in this, I'm so sorry.I do hope that this letter has enlightened you and that we're hoping there would be no further conflict or complain from you on this.

With all due respect, sir I'm asking you a favor, in behalf of my friend who will leave the office soon since she'll be getting married in January. I am held responsible in fixing this office issue though my friend was the one being indicted here. I am appealing to you in her behalf. I, personally would want no possible complications for her since her fiance is not a Filipino National. We are anticipatingyour fair comprehension on this matter.

Thank you very much and God bless.


Sophia de Las Llagas Zenarosa
Alternate PIO
Public Information Office
DPWH-Albay Engineering District


Note:(one of the few personal disclaimers which I am s'posed to send)

Hey,

With regards to those that might be posted on your different online accounts. I am sorry if it could have irritated you. I regret to inform you that I have been negligent of my different online accounts by trusting my email and passwords to my friends, thereby letting 'em use my online accounts at my expense. I have never been online for almost 3 months since our wireless router got busted. It has reached my knowledge and I am claiming that i nothing to do with it, I am responsible of this mistake. I am now updating all my accounts and changing all my passwords. I assure you that you can now expect no further nuisance messages from my different online accounts. I'm deeply sorry for all the mess I might have caused you now and all those that was done before. iGracias y Vaya con Deo!

Peaches

INQUIRY : SO YOU SAID YOU DON'T KNOW ME, BUT...

Heyah! I don't wanna be rude but..I don't understand what seems to be easy to comprehend, now i can't even rationalize nor put proper explanation in my head. If you don't mind, would you be kind enough to answer these questions? How come you said you don't know me and yet you minded asking me if the guy (which was actually my old classmate a good friend)you saw me talking to was my type? How come you said you don't know me and yet you are asking me a 1-word question that could possibly mean so many different things all at the same time? ("Ako?") How would you want me to answer that question?You always ask me so many hypothetical question which were answerable in so many different ways imaginable. How come you said you don't know me and yet you hand me good ideas, advice and a whole lot of puzzles and quizzes that i like and now missed the most since no one's sending me that?And you're one of the few people i don't have to pretend to and can freely communicate in English...=) And you said you don't know me yet you checked if i ate my meals already and say good morning to me before i actually wake up and good night before i actually fall asleep? How come you said you don't know me yet you do know the book author i love the most and that you told me you remembered me just because you saw a book with the same author in your house? How come you don't know me and yet you know my fave color is black and you tend to wear that color in the office because maybe you know that would make me happy? You said you don't know me yet you told me your dog's name was Barack(and i knew the story behind the name), you are fond of skateboard and old school bikes and that you're not yet asleep at 1:00am since there'd be an upcoming drag race somewhere? You told 'em you don't know me and yet some people would ask you why I was absent and you would send me sms telling me to come so they won't look for me? And you said you don't know me yet we had a bet over the idea that you won't be able to shoot the ball while playing basketball...and i never saw you until the last time you played yet i pretended i didn't see it so i'd won. =) How come you said you don't know me but finds time to scold me, putting some sense in my head when you thought i might've forgotten it?(this was another part of the person who don't know me that i deeply miss 'cause no one seemed to do this to me but that person) And you said you don't know me, we're not even friends yet you have the guts to ask me about what time i went home after my friend's birthday bash(around 4am)? And you also nagged me of the way i dress(as though i'm always ready for night-outs)? And the one time i put some eyeshadow to mask my eyebags(you said i don't usually wear makeup and then now i do--only once!)? And then you walked out of me after you speech telling me to have pity on my lil gurls, all that a day before Christmas at my own office table? Wow!you certainly didn't know me and yet when i learned to drink and started getting drunk and broke all the rules in my usually boring life and did things i've never done before and unknowingly told you things that i'll never say or hadn't even tried saying to anyone and hated myself because i can't accept the fact that i'm starting to fall for you and i don't wanna fall for you...you'd tell me not to worry 'cause you're gonna leave the office soon? You told 'em you don't know me and yet you're always there in front of our office right before you proceed to your office and the persons around us can't seem to find where the tension was coming from whenever we're in the same place at the same time? So, how come you said you don't know me and yet we used to have communication before that all knew about but now no one would admit it ever happened nor existed like i was some looney making it all up in my head? And if you don't know me, then can you please define, elaborate or enlighten me (redundant, i know) why you said you don't know me?and if you don't then after all these what are we? friends? acquaintance? office colleagues? Why did your girlfriend said you found me scary already and yet she sent sms to me a couple of times and then she and her friend weren't at all convinced that i have no idea nor do i have something to do with you 'break-up' thingy and connived with that old hag in the office who loves hating me just to get back at me one way or another by buying globe sim (way too exaggerated and so much unnecessary,if I may say so) and askin' some people to pose and pretend as you? (however, those 3 persons who posed as you are don't seem to have the same way of English communication like you do and also forgot to send me puzzles and don't seem to have a clue what i'm talking about if i speak in french or Spanish wherein if twas you, you would've surfed the net or done something so i won't notice you don't know what i'm talking about) Anyway i had a knack knowing twasn't you but having a ball not to tell 'em and even wrote a letter for you so they won't know they're already busted! And that now, twas the latest mess in the office that i was directed to clean up! Don't you worry i don't intend to get back or make 'em pay! I understand perfectly, they want me out of the office and effective January ima resign and give 'em happiness. Why? I absolutely don't have a clue where she got that idea and why her friend was asking me if i am the culprit though the communication between us doesn't exist at all? she didn't tell you that, right? And if you don't know me by any chance, is there any luck that i'd be able to squeeze myself up to set an appointment in your most likely crammed up schedule to find time answering this email so we'd be able to settle this and clear things up and close this book? And if you don't really know me after all these questions then would you mind me rephrasing it for you? Maybe the proper way to say it if someone ask you if you know me could you just tell 'em NO--NOT ANYMORE! I still have lots of questions but right now this would be enough. I'm asking you a favor, please explain since this caused anxiety to me.. Maybe if all these we're answered I'd be able to think of something so i'd be able to move on if not forget this once happened to me.Thank you so much. I'll Remain, Peaches

BOB ONG'S SENSIBLE CANDIDNESS... (it struck me kakabasa ng ebooks at ng bob ong paperbacks...)

Wisdom of Bob Ong (Shanna sweetie posted this, too)

1. Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.

2. Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.

3. Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.

4. Huwag na huwag kang hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.

5. Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.

6. Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.

7. Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo.. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang..

8. Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.

9. Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na hindi mo mahal pero mahal ka... Kaya quits lang.

10. Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo ung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga ung una.

11. Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.

12. Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda or nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.

13. Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.

14. Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw ung bida sa script na pinili niya.

15. Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.

16. Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.

17. Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan.

18. Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, huwag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!

19. Pakawalan mo ung mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo kahit pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.

20. Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak pra alagaan ang sarili mo.

21. Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal... Nkakatakot mahulog... At kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.

I Have Wholeheartedly Trusted You…Why?

November 18th, 2009

I applaud your preparation in setting me up (since last year), perfectly staged. I never really had a chance to doubt it. I’ve been holding on to something that’s never really there at all as the draining days dragged on torturing myself. How could I be such a stupid girl? You played with my emotions, using my family just because you know they are my weakness. Involving people of credible personality. I’d feel so small if these people found out… I’ll lose my face. My, you’re such a push! All these things are just happening in your head and we never even noticed its difference from the truth. We’ve been acting as the well orchestrated marionettes that you’ve been toying in your hand way too long already.Hah! I should have known.. I’ve been existing in that workplace acting as if… assuming what’s not…stupidly naive that because of your plan, they thought I’m lying…acting crazy. You’re embarrassing me to the very core of my morality and I am so clueless to think and love you as my own sibling? What pissed me off was that you did all these in exchange of less that 30 thousand buck? All these time I’ve honestly believed in you.. That’s too painful.You really hurt me big time, female Judas Iscariot! One day I’ll wake up and realize I won’t and I don’t wanna be your friend anymore.